Our Personal Agreements

Not all agreements are made at a table with a pen and paper. We have made many agreements that we are not even aware of. We have agreements with society, with our religion, with our community, with our families, with friends, with school, with workplace and many more. From the very childhood, we are domesticated to live to serve everyone’s expectations because we fear to stand out among others. There is a system to be followed if we want to be appreciated and accepted in this society. But I always ask myself what about me and my expectations? What is my existence in this society? What personal choice am I allowed to make? Am I truly serving my purpose here?, Am I just born to follow rules? Can I believe in something other than what my religion says? Who decided my religion? Why do different religions exist when we all believe in the same Creator?. All I have is questions but no answers. I know most of you have asked these questions to yourself many times. Just because nobody has the answers we decided to follow the rest of the world without even doubting the system that’s being followed for thousands of years. I don’t blame anyone because nobody can change the beliefs that are inherited into us from the very first existence of human life on this planet.

A belief system has a set of rules that the society expects us to follow. Based on those rules we define ourselves, anyone who follows it is categorized as a good well-mannered person and society calls them bad who go against those rules. A very important quality we all have is being judgemental. We judge everything and everyone around us even if it doesn’t concern us. Our mind forms an opinion based on those judgments and we start assuming things in our head which we have no idea are even real. Then we start believing our assumptions and categorize them as good or bad. This raises a question in my mind why do we have to go through this process even when it doesn’t involve us?.

There are punishments defined for not following the belief system, not following society embedded rules which we all have to face. Apart from those punishments, how many times do we punish ourselves  for the same mistake, how long do we feel guilty for not following those rules, we suffer, we fear, we lose belief in ourselves, we lose the confidence to take a stand for our personal beliefs and then we just start following the rest of the world. In short, we lose self-identity and become an auto-domesticated human with no perspective.

‘THE FOUR AGREEMENTS’ – written by Don Miguel Ruiz, beautifully explains about erroneous laws in our society. He writes about the four agreements we actually need to commit ourselves to and its importance in changing our lives.

The First Agreement – Be impeccable with your word. Word is the most powerful weapon we possess. It’s like a two-edged sword, if used wisely it can create a beautiful world, if not it can destroy everything we have.

The Second Agreement – Don’t take anything personally. We make assumptions about ourselves based on what the world says. What they say is not us, it’s them. We make everything about us and let it affect our lives. Nobody knows us better than ourselves, why do we believe someone who doesn’t know the whole truth.

The Third Agreement – Don’t make assumptions. We make assumptions about everything and start believing they are true. Our assumptions create stories, we suffer from presumptuous stories and we blame others for our pain. In reality, it starts in our mind and its only true in our mind.

The Fourth Agreement – Do your best. Giving our best in everything we do saves us from self-judgments, guilt, frustrations, fears, and regrets. Giving our best in following the first three agreements can transform our lives.

Reading this book has given me a strong sense to keep the faith in my personal beliefs. We all get self-doubt because of criticism for being different and taking a stand for ourselves but our beliefs make us what we are. Let’s support individualism and support in forming a community where everyone is allowed to make their personal choices.

Advertisements

Have you discovered your diamonds yet?

We always wish for something more, more money, more fame, more freedom, more knowledge, more beauty, more talents, more than what we have. Most people are not grateful for what they have which leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.  Rather than focusing on what we have, we are busy comparing our lives with others around us. Have you ever wondered what if we dedicate to focus all our energy on what we have and try to improve it. The book that I have reviewed in this post explains with a few examples of the importance of focusing on what we have and begin from where we are.

‘ACRES OF DIAMONDS’ – The world-famous classic, by Russell H. Conwell.

Dr. Russell Conwell in this famous book describes an allegory that he gathered during one of his travels. The story is about a Persian farmer Ali Hafed who lived near River Indus. The man was wealthy and contented and owned a very large grain field. One day he learned all about diamonds and its worth from a Buddhist priest. This made him feel dissatisfied that he couldn’t sleep and decided to go in search of a diamond mine. He sold his farm and left his family in quest of diamonds. He pursued his journey into the continent until he had no money. He couldn’t face this failure and decided to end his life by casting himself into a tidal wave on the shore of Bay of Barcelona. His discontent with what he already had led him to make these decisions. He was a wealthy person, owned a farm and had a family, in search of more riches he lost everything he owned even his own life.

After a few days, the successor of the farm found a black stone in the field. He took the pebble to his house and forgot about it. Later one-day same Buddhist priest comes to his house and notices the stone and tells the farmer all about diamonds. Stirring up the white sand they discover the most magnificent diamond mine to date. Ali Hafed’s diamond mine was hidden in his own farm. His dissatisfaction cost him the diamond mine lying underneath his own farm.

If Ali Hafed had not sold the farm and dig undernaeth his own field?

He was already rich, why did he decide to pursue riches he didn’t know where to find?

Lets ask a few questions to ourselves today,

If I can change one thing about myself today, what will that be?

Have I ever looked for the right opportunity inside me?

Please provide feedback if this post was helpful or any suggestions to improve the content of my writings.